


Exile

by CrochanWitch



Series: Icarus Falls [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics), Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Darkfic, Friendship/Love, Kon is the best friend in the world, Love Triangles, M/M, Past Abuse, Semi AU, Tim Drake Angst, Tim Drake Has a Bad Time, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tim in the Assassin's League, Tim wants revenge, Unhealthy Relationships, mentioned Dick Grayson/Tim Drake, more tags will be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26699596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrochanWitch/pseuds/CrochanWitch
Summary: After Batman's death, Tim is devastated, he has lost everything, except being Robin.And then Dick takes that away from him.With no place to call home, Tim decides to embark on an adventure to regain the only thing that can bring peace to his life once again. Bruce is the only person who can bring everything back to normal.But along the way he realizes that there are more important things than being Robin.Revenge is one of them.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Tim Drake (implied), Tim Drake & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Tim Drake & Prudence Wood, Tim Drake/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Series: Icarus Falls [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916017
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Temporary tags.

They called him crazy, sick, in need of psychiatric help. Tim came to believe it.   
But he knew he was right, so he would think about it again and end up believing that they were right, that he was really crazy, then he would think about it one more time and say he was right again. 

_I'm right_ , he repeated himself every day. 

The night he had discovered everything had been one of the worst nights of his life.   
He had become Robin because he saw the change in Batman, the need. Batman needed a Robin, and Tim was ready to be more than just a rich kid. He put every part of himself to work, pushing his efforts beyond the limit. He wasn't the fastest or strongest, nor was he the most agile, but he eventually earned his place in the bat cave.   
God knew that Bruce had not made things easy for him, Dick on the other hand had been his downfall.   
The road to hell is paved with good deeds.   
Perhaps Dick had tried to be a good example, a good brother, but over time his good will had become something else. Tim remembered those months every time he closed his eyes. He had kept quiet and let it happen because he didn't want to disappoint the first Robin, he didn't want to be a hindrance to Batman.   
Dick had pushed him over the cliff he was now looking at, it had been the first step, but somehow it began. 

Batman had died saving the world, as it should be.   
Tim had seen his parents and friends die; no death had ever left him this devastated. Perhaps Kon's death, but that was a completely different matter. With Kon's death, Tim had completely lost his mind, willing to do anything to have a piece of his best friend for himself.   
Now, Tim was sane. More lucid than ever in his life.   
He had fled the cave after Dick decided to take away his mantle, his identity as Robin, his lifeline and the only thing he had remaining. 

_"You said we would be okay“. Tim's throat was burning, he had been holding back tears for hours. "My whole life has been devastated again!"_

_"Now he's my responsibility," Dick replied carelessly, "You're not my charge, you'll be fine. But he...Tim, you know better than anyone that if he stays alone he's going to kill someone again". Dick finally left his activity on the cave computer to look him in the eyes. "You have to understand._

_"No, I don't understand. Being Robin is all I have right now._

_"Oh, are you still there?"_

_A few steps further, Damian looked at him with mockery in his eyes, wearing a redesigned Robin suit. The bright colors that were supposed to signify hope in the darkness were gone to make way for dull colors, as dim as the future of Gotham without Bruce._

_"You've got to be kidding me."_

_"We're going to have to improve security in the cave, Batman. To keep out the riffraff."_

_"How can you let him wear that suit, Dick? On what earth do you choose him over me? Our relationship hasn't been the best for years, but you know I'm Robin. You trained me for that!"_

_"Don't be so sensitive, Drake“. Damian scoffed._

_"Damian, shut your mouth."_

_"I'm sorry, Drake. You're still part of the team...maybe Batgirl's suit will be available!"_

_Tim couldn't take it anymore, he jumped on Damian and hit him the way he had been wanting to for days._

_"My name is Tim Wayne," he yelled between blows._

_Dick grabbed his arms and held him against his body, which brought back strange memories of nights many years ago, when he started his career as Robin, and Dick insisted that they should spend more time together as brothers. Ha!_

_"Tim, get back!_

_"Hm...I'll let you write down this point Drake...I want you to feel good about yourself. God knows you have no other reason!"_

_Tim stepped away from Dick._

_"You want me to back off? Fine._

_After that he had left the cave, and got lost in one of the many corridors of the mansion._

  
*******

  
Alfred was going to kill him, Tim could already imagine one of the many ways the old butler was going to end his existence by destroying one of the corridors.   
He had run into a potted plant, and from there he couldn't stop. Every painting and ornament ended up broken and thrown on the floor next to him. The last thing he broke was an old vase that looked expensive and important. A piece of glass was buried in his hand, and blood ran through his fingers until it slipped down his arm. 

"This is not happening". He repeated to himself as he looked at the cut on his hand. 

The shattered paintings seemed to stare at him, laughing at him and his misfortune.   
One in particular stared back at him, a man in a settler's outfit with a cold, hard as steel look. 

Mordecai Wayne.

Tim opened his eyes in surprise.   
He knew well that face, that jaw, those eyes. The painting might be old, but the painter had made an effort to immortalize every little detail for a reason. 

"It's alive. " he whispered "Bruce is alive“.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim's last minutes in Gotham

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My laptop died a few days ago, so I lost everything I had advanced. This chapter came out of nowhere and is not corrected, sorry for the mistakes.

Tim knew that no one would listen to him, he was alone in this.   
The manor was no longer a safe place for him, not with Damian going around alone. But he was already prepared for that, he had been for a long time.   
He turned off his phone and headed to one of his safe places, away from the shadow of Batman and everything that connected him to the cave. Deep down, Tim sensed that the day he would have to abandon what he had worked so hard to build was coming fast. That day had arrived and Tim was not going to be taken by surprise. An abandoned warehouse was the best place of all. Suspicious? Of course, but that place was not connected to Tim Drake (Wayne left a bad taste in his mouth.)  
The main computer turned on as soon as Tim put one foot in the place. 

"Attention: Messages on hold!" announced the computer.

Tim searched through the crowd of boxes for a specific one, one he knew would come in handy someday.

"First message" continued the robotic voice.

“Delete”

One black box stood out from the others, Tim opened it with a serious and determined look. A black hood and a belt with a yellow emblem waited for him.

*******

  
He took care of leaving everything ready and prepared for his trip. In the corner, his ex-suit of Robin reproached him for what he was doing, for the uniform he was wearing.   
The colors he had adopted for Kon's death, in honor of him. Did that still mean anything?   
Kon was no longer dead, he had revived and was living his life happily, trying to make up the lost time and find his place in the world.   
Tim had lost that too...  
…  
But maybe that was never his place in the world.

He finished fixing his new tool belt, feeling strange with the new emblem on it. 

"Computer, activate Icarus protocol," he said, putting on his new hood. "Five minutes."

Tim had been watched for several minutes, but he let the outsider think that he had the upper hand. He stood up and kicked the boxes onto his back. Stephanie Brown fell to the ground spitting. Her spoiler suit failed to protect her completely, and that would have made Tim smile if not for the fact that his years of training had prevented him from doing that.  
Seeing her there made his blood boil. It had been so long ago, but Tim would never forgive her for taking advantage of him to take his place as Robin in his worst moment. At least Dick had had the decency to warn him of his dismissal, Stephanie on the other hand had stabbed him in the back.   
Of course he had suffered from her alleged death, but deep down he had thought she deserved it for betraying him.

“Stephanie “He says politely.

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"How did you find this place?" 

"Are you going to help me up?" she asked, offering a hand. Tim didn't even pay attention to her, he returned to his desk to finish the last details before the protocol was activated.  
"In case you don't remember...I know you, Tim," Stephanie said after a few seconds, the time it took her to catch her breath and get up without throwing up. 

"You know what? I don't even want to know," Tim interrupted her.

Did she really think he just forgive and forget? Tim saw red for a second.

"Tim, please could you at least look at me? No one has heard from you in days, you have to talk to someone.

"No. However you found out about this place, it's just another reason not to trust you. Because of the fact that I can't trust you for wearing that costume. Goodbye, Steph. 

"I'm worried about you, Tim. Everybody's worried about you.

Tim stopped abruptly, with every cell in his blood boiling with rage.   
Stephanie touched his arm, asking him in silence to turn to listen to her and look into her eyes. That's exactly what Tim did. He turned and grabbed her wrist and immediately pushed her to the wall and forced her to look into his eyes, to see the anger and disappointment.

"Everyone is worried about me, Steph? Dick sent you, didn't he? If you really cared about me you would come to me. You wouldn't lie to me, you wouldn't spy on me at Dick's request. If you really cared about me you would never have agreed to be Robin! ...All I ever did was help you, but you didn't care about that. 

He pushed her to the wall and walked out, and a few minutes later the warehouse exploded.

*******

His bike stopped outside Gotham, one last stop before his life changes forever. Red Robin's suit felt heavy and uncomfortable on his shoulders, unseemly. 

"What am I doing?" 

He didn't hear the car's engine until the headlights were pointed directly at him.   
He released a curse when Batman appeared in front of him; after all, Tim must have foreseen it. 

"We live in a crazy world. You and I have been given a piece of it. I know you think Bruce is alive...and God knows I want that to be true...but this time it's different. Even Bruce didn't know what was going to happen.

Dick's voice transported him to his early days as a Robin, when Bruce had finally accepted him as his partner. At that time he and Dick were just brothers, friends who liked to watch movies and shows together after a patrol, or go for a walk in the afternoon to talk about their day. Tim had loved those days, but they had only lasted a short time.   
Dick had slowly become something else, until the two of them had crossed a line that had destroyed everything they had. 

"Superman brought us Bruce's body. We buried him and now we have to let him go.  
"Bruce loved you very much, you were very important to him, and that's why I want to help you, but I need you to talk to me. Talk to me, Tim.

The Tim of the past would have hesitated for a few seconds, before giving up and accepting the hand that Dick was offering him. Because after all, Tim only wanted to please others, to make them happy.  
This Tim did not hesitate. 

"No."

Dick grabbed his wrist. 

"Tim, don't make this any harder than it has to be".

"Let me go, Dick. Right. Now"

"No."

Dick had made a big mistake, and that was to train Tim from day one. 

Tim wasn't going to lie to himself saying that the fight was easy, because the bruises all over his body screamed otherwise. Dick was taller, stronger and more agile. He had used that against him all the time, succeeding in subduing Tim against his will.   
But Tim was the only one who matched Bruce's intelligence and cunning, and those were the only chips on his side at the moment.   
He couldn't knock him out, or leave him on the ground, but he did push him back far enough so he could get on his bike and get out of there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Robin meets Superboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late, the college has kept me very busy.

Tim had been in Europe for a few weeks when it happened.  
It took him five days to get out of Gotham, and several more to try to decide where to start.   
A nine-hour flight left him in Madrid, Spain. A kidnapped girl was his starting point to continue his training, or rather, it was the only way he could let out all his anger.   
He wasn't there for that, but trouble seemed to follow him wherever he went.   
He was only in Paris for twenty minutes, and there is an armed robbery a block away from his hotel. Three people die before he arrives, four more fall before they can escape. A car follows him and shoot at him, Tim had never been so grateful for his bike.   
The suit was still a weight he was not used to. But that's why he had chosen it. That suit allowed him to cross lines that Bruce or Dick would not approve. That suit allowed him to get away from them, away from the character they had taken from his hands. That suit was not part of the bats.   
That suit was stained, so no one could question it for its decisions.  
But everywhere there are exceptions to the rule. 

*******

He was a distraction. It would only distract him from what was important, make him forget his quest.   
But when Conner came down from the sky - as if he were a god - Tim couldn't stop his heart from racing.   
Tim is on his bike, chasing a possible clue to Bruce's whereabouts. Kon flies by his side with Kripto. 

"You weren't picking up" is the first thing Kon says to him. If Tim wasn't in his Red Robin suit - and if he wasn't chasing a chance to bring Bruce back - he would have smiled. 

"I didn't know it was you."

"I turned off my caller I.D. blocking.

"I was busy. I am busy."

That's all Tim responds to before speeding up, knowing he still can't escape Superboy's accusing eyes. The Titans...Dick must have told him everything by now. Filling his head with the idea that he is crazy and needs urgent help. Tim is not crazy, he is the only sane one at that moment, the only one who is not truly mowed down by the pain of losing one of the world's greatest heroes.   
Bruce left a hole in his chest that Tim knows he can't fill with anything. But he also knows that his mentor wouldn't be proud to see him get carried away with feelings when he still had a whole mission ahead of him.   
Once he held him in his arms Tim would let his feelings flow. Until then, as long as he wore the Red Robin mask, he couldn't afford to take his eyes off the road and follow all the little clues. 

Kon asks who they are chasing, but Tim doesn't bother to answer. So Superboy orders Krypto to stop the car and catch the criminal. 

The clue leads him nowhere. It is a lost night. Hours that Tim could have spent investigating or traveling to some country that would be useful to him. He wants to scream and hit something, or maybe someone.

"You'll think of something, Rob"

Rob.

That name hurts him. 

  
"I won't give up on him like I give up on you." His words are hard and cold. They are not meant to hurt, just to be cuttingly sincere. But if Tim had had Superboy's bionic ear, he would have been able to hear how his best friend's heart (it was still right to think of him that way?) stopped in surprise for a millisecond

*******

He still has several hours of darkness, so he agrees to help Kon with his search for one of Luthor's bases. 

  
"I already excavated one of his old labs underneath Paris anyway" He answer when Superboy thanks him. 

"Can you take that cowl off while we're down here?"

"Why?"

"Because you're not a cowl kinda guy. You never have been. Maybe I'll get used to it some day, but right now it's freaking me out. You're wearing Jason Todd's uniform. The "bad" Robin."

Tim wants to remind him that Jason was his friend for a while, his safe harbor in a troubled city, until he stabbed him in the chest and left him to die, but then compare him to Dick and underestimate him. 

Why does it seem that Dick is the root of most of his current problems? 

He's about to open his mouth, but he remembers that he never told Kon about his friendship with Jason (or the time they ended up making out on a roof). There are a million things he never told him, things so dark and frightening that not everyone could hear without vomiting. Tim knew Conner well enough to know he couldn't resist. 

"That uniform is all leather. It looks like it weighs a ton. What happened to plan old "classic" Robin? 

  
"I'm not Robin anymore. "Tim responds after a few minutes. "Not ultil Bruce is back.

"Wait a second. This is all a punishment, isn't it? Taking on the identity of Red Robin-The failed Robin. Isolating yourself. I know what guild can do to you.

_This is not guilt._

Tim wants to yell in his face that he shut up, because Kon doesn't know shit about what he's talking about. Yeah, Kon died, and now he was back. But Jason was dead too, and Tim trusted him. And Jason just kept betraying him over and over again.   
But Kon is not Jason. Kon hasn't tried to kill him.   
Tim takes off his hood, which seems to please Superboy.

They get to the door of the lab, and it would have taken Tim just a few seconds to force the security and open it. After all, it's not the first time he's done it. He's been there before.   
But Superboy doesn't give him the chance to do it. He smashes open the door as if it were nothing.   
The lab is still the same as the last time, broken and ruined, only dirtier. 

"Looks like Luthor hasn't been here in a while."

"No. It looks like he hans't been here since I was here."

Tim had heard about Superboy's return before he started his journey. Deep down he was grateful that he didn't have to face him, he wasn't ready to face one of his mistakes. I didn't want to see the look on Kon's face. The shame and disgust. 

"What were you doing here?"

"I took his equipment"

"What? It looks cloning teach, Tim"

Tim turns his back on him. He doesn't want Kon to see his face. He doesn't want her to see his tears.   
Kon's death had changed everything. It had turned him into another Robin, into a person. Would Kon like this new Tim?

"It was" the tears keep falling, and Tim curses that he took off his hood. Batman would be so disappointed in him for showing feelings. "It's so much easier to hide this when I'm wearing a cowl"

"Hide what?"

"You're right. This costume is heavy."

"Then let it go, Tim. Let it all go. Tell me what's going on with you"

Tim looks at his best friend for a few seconds, letting him see his weakness.

"Steph died. My ex-boyfriend died. My best friend died. Dick was making my life miserable and Damian was trying to kill me." He closes his eyes for a few seconds, letting grief and memories come back to him." And I couldn't accept it. I couldn't lose you too...So I tried to clone you. But I failed. Like I failed everyone else."

When the confession leaves his mouth he feels as if some of the weight on his shoulders has finally lifted.   
His legs began to fail and Tim needed to sit on the floor to keep from falling. 

"Tim even if it'd worked, it wouldn't have been me." 

"I know it wouldn't be you, Conner, but...but it wouldn't be something."

"Man, between everything you've gone through, I picked a really suck-ass year to be gone, didn't I?"

"The worst...I am so screwed up right now."

Conner sat next to them, but keeping distance between them. Tim wanted to beg him to come closer, to let him touch him. I needed to know that he was real, that not everything had been a hallucination because of the lack of sleep and the large amounts of caffeine.   
But he don't need to tell him anything, after all, Kon was his best friend. He knew him almost as well as Tim knew himself (that **almost** was the important thing here). As if reading his mind, Conner approached him until his shoulders touched, just enough to feel the body heat that his best friend always seemed to exude from every pore of his body. 

"So we're both on impossible missions that everyone else is going to say we're crazy for doing.

"Bruce is alive," Tim said after a few minutes. 

"I belive you."

And that was all he needed. It gave him the strength to keep going.

"Thanks, Conner."

*******

Conner's support is all he need. He returned to his hotel room and prepared to continue his search. The clues were getting him nowhere, traveling from country to country with virtually nothing to show for it. 

_Keep focus. Watching._ He repeats himself. _Bruce is somewhere and he is counting on you. I won't let him down, I won't let him disappear._

But then his hotel room explodes. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't supposed to publish this until I finished (started) Jason's story, but I couldn't control myself. It will be slow updates for now, I still have to get used to writing over a thousand words in English without falling into the attempt.


End file.
